Deceptive.
Looking at you
yet looking away
willing you to back out
yet wanting you to stay
hinting for you to drop it
before it's too late
yet voicing nothing
as if nothing has happened
I am a cheater
having granted everything
even when I was unsure
now I know
but you dont realize
I dont want to be
what they make me out to be
I just need time
to sort it out
I still don't know if I need you
I cant be sure that i'll manage
please let me be this way
I cant talk if im so confused
cant carry on as if nothing happened
I block the thoughts away by day
and welcome it by nights.
Things cant go on this way.
I may not have got used to it
but this is taking even more time
than I thought it would.
I cant pretend it's forever
if today I feel like it wont work.

know what i feel like right now?
having covered long miles stretched thru time.
waiting and wishing for this particular time and date?
even if anger surged with apprehension and longing.
as if this was all i waited for.
know what i feel now?
having finally reached the place and time?
but not having things finally the way i wanted?
or struggled so hard to achieve
know what i feel like now at this date and time?
standing there only to see someone's taken my place.?